A journal, coffee and the Word. Tools to resolve the "why" in life.

Writing. Why does something that I have loved to do most of my life often incite procrastination? Just thinking about putting words to paper, or screen in this case, excites me. Thoughts of all that I could bring about with the flurry of my fingers racing across a keyboard, my mind whirling faster than my hands can go, also puts a twinge of fear in my heart.

As long as I can remember I have used journals, writing letters, making notes or even doodles to process my thoughts and feelings. As a child, I can remember keeping a small notebook handy to jot down things that made me mad, hut my feelings or brought happiness to my life. Scribing my musings helped me organize my thoughts and find some kind of peace in the midst of chaos or to remember the delight of a good day. Of course, when I was quite young, the issues at hand were generally not life altering, but to my delicate young heart, they were important. 

Through my teenage years I had several journals. I was not always faithful to log my daily entry, but I did, without fail, fall to my current journal for comfort when I was faced with situations that needed some serious contemplation. When school mates would leave me out of activities and my heart was feeling trampled, I would spend some quality time with my journal and pen. If my siblings were having a day of “pick on Sandy” I would use my journal to plot retaliation until my anger and resentment

were quelled. When I did not get into a club or chosen for a specific activity that I thought I deserved to participate in, my journal was the friend that would not let me down.

Over the years, I have written many letters that were never delivered to the addressed recipient. I have gone through multiple notebooks and journals of various shapes, sizes and designs as I sought to understand the good, the bad, and ugly of life. Deep down, as an adult, I know that writing is not only therapeutic for me but also a gift from God. He wants me to use it to tell my story, to tell His story in my life. So, back to my original question… Why do I procrastinate when the opportunity to share comes? Why does it make me fearful?

Being true to my God-given nature, that is why I am writing this blog. I will use what God equipped me with to examine the issue and hopefully through the journey share something that God inspired through me that may be of encouragement to someone else. Hopefully I will not only learn the whys my delaying tactics, but God will give me a word or two that will be of interest or inspiration worth sharing.